Fear socialising over the Xmas season?

As Christmas approaches, so do the Christmas parties, the work drinks and long lunches, the client entertaining…  and the social anxiety.  For those who experience the build-up of anxiety before an event, worry about what to say, fitting in, how they are being judged, struggling with the constant need to run out of the door, and then the endless turning over in your mind afterwards of things that were said and done, xmas celebrations can be a painful time. You are not alone - 1 in 5 Brits (19%) have pretended to be sick to get out of staff Christmas parties in the past (Mind, 2015).

Why is this happening to you? Social anxiety is generally related to negative deeply held beliefs about yourself, such as ‘I’m not interesting enough’ or ‘I’m not good enough’, which are intensely triggered by the enforced pressure to socialise without being able to get up and go.

So, what can you do to help yourself:

1)      Be kind to yourself – in the run up to the events, as you feel anxious, try and get some distance from your thoughts and see what it is you are telling yourself.  Is there any truth in your thoughts? What evidence do you have? Can you make that voice a little kinder to you?

2)      Stay there – leaving early actually increases our fear about events like this in the future as it confirms our beliefs that we can’t handle it and are not good enough. Push yourself to stay longer and show yourself that you can do it. In doing this, some of the fear diminishes. To help you stay for longer, practice relaxing different muscle groups to get rid of tension or try some mindfulness.

3)      Afterwards – focus on the things that you did well. Congratulate yourself for turning up, for pushing yourself to stay, for any conversations you were able to have. Talk to yourself as you would to a friend.

If you would like to tackle the underlying beliefs that cause your social anxiety and eliminate it for good, contact me for a FREE 15 minute consultation.